The Exhaustion of Constant Self-Improvement
Me surprised that I like myself the way I am!
Do you want to be better? Or are you starting to feel like that is an insane request? I’m getting tired of all the self-improvement language, the therapy talk, and the wellness industry.
I don’t drink kale shakes. I hate kale.
Maybe I don’t always want to deal with my trauma. Maybe I just want to eat Oreos.
On the one hand, there is this acceptance culture that tells you to accept yourself just as you are. Then there is this self-improvement culture that tells you you must be better, stronger, thinner, wiser.
It’s not a totally bad thing to want to be better, but at what cost?
When will I be satisfied with who I am?
When will I officially be healed?
Is there a point at which we become the perfect versions of ourselves? And who even decides what that looks like?
I no longer want to be perfect. I like myself. I’m a good person, I do things for other people, and I try to take care of myself.
I don’t need all this pressure to become elevated. I would like to be healthier, wealthier, and wiser, but I’m also tired and old. There is only so much I’m willing to do.
Am I optimizing my time? What does that even mean? I am not using every moment of my time to be productive, but I try to be present.
I am working on myself, but I don’t want to consider myself a project that needs fixing. I’m not broken. I’m just me, and I happen to like me.
We live in a culture that makes us always want to strive for something, but maybe while we are striving, we are not noticing what we already are. We are perfect in our own imperfection. Sometimes I feel like we think we are machines or robots, and we need to fulfill this maximum potential. But to what end?
I want to be the best version of myself, but who says I’m not already? I mean, I’m overweight, underpaid, and not always happy. But even though all those things are true, it does not mean that I am not doing okay.
I think we need to rethink what we consider success. I have very good friends, a very good family, and I am doing meaningful work. I feel like that is enough, that I am enough.
This notion that I have to improve at all times is driving me crazy, and it's definitely not improving my life. I’m not going to lie, I wish I were richer and healthier and had a significant other. But whether those things happen for me or not does not define my worth.
First of all, my worth should not be calculated. And second of all, everyone is worthy, no matter their position in life.
I am in therapy, and I agree that it can help most people. However, I will always have issues, and maybe that’s what makes me interesting. Maybe that gives me depth of character. Maybe my flaws and imperfections give me a slightly deeper understanding of life.
I don’t want to be like everyone else. I don’t long to be normal. The idea of being normal bores the hell out of me. I like that my struggles and imperfections have shaped me. I enjoy being myself.
I just wish every message I get on social media, every advertisement, and the world at large were not always telling me I need to be better than I already am.
I’m happy with myself, and I know there’s room for improvement, but I refuse to be obsessed with that. I think it’s more important that I accept myself for who I am.
nina
Do you need help learning how to read, write, or speak English?
I am an experienced tutor who can give you real conversational and written expertise in English Language Learning.
I can also help with Foreign Accent Reduction.
I work virtually in any time zone in any country.
To explore tutoring with me, please submit the form below:
A couple of friends and I started a podcast called 2 Curries and a Ranch. Listen here: https://2curriesandaranch.riverside.com/ or wherever you get your podcasts.
Imagine two loud, dramatic, hilarious Indian women explaining to a white man what it's like to grow up and live in America. Join us for laughter, deep thoughts, and witty banter about life, love and culture. We tell it like it is, with honest, bold and funny stories, discussions and arguments. We explore boundaries and challenge norms. Join us for a good talk.
We have a new episode out: Body Hair
Join us as we discuss different humorous and serious aspects of body hair and all its entanglements.