First World Problems

So what are your problems? Is your cellphone giving you an echo that annoys the living bajeezus out of you? Is your car’s Bluetooth not connecting to your phone? Did you forget your Netflix password, and you are on the last episode of your favorite show? Are these really problems? Or do we just think we have problems? 

Like traffic, I know more than one person who loses their mind over too much traffic. I have a friend who even joined a ‘traffic group’ that tries to advocate for better use of roads. I asked this friend if he thought maybe he should join a group that supports homeless people or something, anything but traffic, but he said no, traffic is what he is passionate about. I’m serious. 

So a few years ago, we were renovating our home, and I was talking to a guy who lived in Tennessee or something. My parents and I were arguing about what color carpet we wanted (I wanted grey and my mom wanted blood red, thank god I won that battle), and he asked me what was going on, and all I could tell him was that we were having first-world problems. 

Then he said something to me that I remember to this day, “We are having third-world problems around here.” He was disabled, and he was waiting to get disability payments, and he had to help support his two sons. They couldn’t make rent. 

That is when I realized what a princess I am.

The question really is, do I recognize my privilege? I’ve never gone to bed hungry, and we’ve never not had enough money for anything. My family and I are not rich, but we are probably upper-middle-class. There’s a lot of privilege associated with that. 

My sister and I went to the best schools. (Back in the day, you could get into the University of Michigan without being a genius; that is not so anymore.) I went to an Ivy League graduate school. I have always been given the best in life. 

I’m not exactly having an existential crisis about this, because that would be very privileged of me; I’m just worried that I don’t understand how the other half lives. I fear I don’t really understand life at all because everything has been given to me in terms of material things. 

I’m very spoiled, I recognize that. But I like to think I have compassion. I used to tutor students in the juvenile detention system. These were very troubled youth, but I somehow managed to reach out to them and connected with many of them. 

In fact, I was simultaneously working at another agency that dealt mostly with high-achieving students, and I could not relate to them as well as the kids with sordid pasts. Does that mean I have any idea what it’s like to struggle financially? Maybe not, but I do understand struggling emotionally. 

I have Bipolar Disorder, so I know a thing or two about suffering. After all these years, all I can say about it is that it is a horrible disease. However, suffering can create empathy and emotional intelligence. 

According to my idol, Bernie Sanders, the average American doesn’t have 500 dollars for an emergency. The average person in America is not thriving; they are hurting. The average in the world is much worse, I believe.

We all know that people are starving all over the world. But how do you manage your emotional health when this is happening all over the place, and all you are striving to do is get through the day without having a mental breakdown? That’s why we don’t sit around thinking about this stuff, because quite honestly, it’s not good for us to. There is this huge information overload, and we can only take so much of it.

So how do we manage to care in some way or form or whatever? The way I personally advocate for anything is by writing about it; that’s my way. Everyone has a different way. One of my best friends makes food for homeless people. I admire that, but I don’t do that. I can’t really tell you why I don’t do that. 

I got offered an interview for a job teaching illiterate young children English. I turned it down, even though that would be emotionally rewarding work; I just thought it would not be intellectually stimulating enough for me. It’s not that I don’t care; it’s just that my talents would be better used in a different setting. But I truly admire anyone who would take that job.   

Maybe you're passionate about knitting, or traffic, or baking, that doesn’t make you a bad person. We all just have to be ourselves. I think everyone secretly cares about the world. You can’t watch the news these days without seeing what’s happening in places like Gaza and not wonder what in god’s name is going on. 

Unless you are a sociopath, you do care. You just don’t always know how to express it. Neither do I. I’m just trying to make a living, save some money for retirement, and see if I can ever get the chance to travel the world. When I see the world, maybe I’ll understand better what I’m even talking about. 

I’ve been to India a few times as a child and once as an adult. The intensity of poverty in India is very different than the poverty in America. First of all, it’s all over the place. Second of all, it’s more severe than anything I’ve ever seen around here. 

I lived in New York for a short bit, and I lived right next to Harlem, which parts of Harlem are considered very poverty-stricken. I’ve been in psych wards with homeless people, because often in this country, homeless people are homeless because they have an untreated mental illness. 

I’ve had long conversations with people in a different socio-economic sphere than mine. Mostly, I have found that many of the people who are different from me are quite brilliant in their own quiet way. They make me think, they make me laugh. 

Yes, I have a lot of first-world problems, my thousand-dollar computer just died, and I had to buy a used computer to save money. And now I’m worried that it’s not in the best shape. I’m worried that my brand new car might be more than I can afford. I’m going to have to cut down on eating out a bit. I think about these things, but I’m not usually thinking about the genocide abroad and the dictatorship in America and other countries.  

I wouldn’t be able to function if I spent too much time thinking about all these problems that plague the world. But it helps me to understand, in the back of my mind, that I don’t have it that bad. There are people living in war-torn countries. There are people in sex slavery, and I could go on, but I don’t want to disturb myself or you too much.    

Recognizing that we have first-world problems is the first step in appreciating our own lives. The difference in the mindset of Indians and Americans is that many poor people in India are not miserable, whereas many rich people in America are.  

Think about that. 

nina