Adulting and Other Horror Stories

My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to get our house ready for sale. Yes, we are finally selling this beautiful money pit. I have to declutter every surface. There are rumors that we have too many vases and throw pillows…I have no idea how they got there. I mean, okay, I’ll admit it, I may or may not have bought every single piece. But they are sooo pretty…no? 

You may be wondering how one sits on a sofa with that many pillows. I’m not going to say I have any real advice on that one…

What are all the vases for if there are no flowers in them, you ask? I don’t have answers, people, I just have vases!

Besides decluttering, there’s much to do; there have been animals in our attic for probably twenty years. How do I know this? I can hear them moving around from my bedroom. Now, I mentioned this to my dad many years ago, and he didn’t seem moved by it at all. He just looked at me like, well, they haven’t fallen through the ceiling. Okay, but they could. And when they do, what are we supposed to do? Run for our lives?

So we are finally addressing the problem, and I don’t know at this point what all is up there. I mean, there could be corpses and, of course, animal shit and god knows what. Can you even imagine the horror? I guess it’s fitting that we are doing it before Halloween. I’m just imagining twenty years of squirrels and raccoons and mice and whatever else, hopefully not bats, because I draw the line at bats. Don’t ask me why, I just do. 

Did you know bats are a protected species? If they are in my attic, they can’t kill them; they have to gently nudge them out! What is this madness? These freaks of nature are flying rats we are talking about! I can’t stand regular rats, much less these scary beasts. 

If you ask me, an animal-infested house is as bad as a haunted house. No, actually, I could hang with ghosts, but I can’t hang with bats and mice. It’s like we have the animal kingdom as tenants in our home, and those filthy creatures don’t even pay rent. 

Don’t get me wrong, I like wild animals, I mean, I like looking at them from afar. We live in a wooded area, so there are a lot of squirrels, and they are pretty cute. I just don’t want them as roommates. 

Speaking of roommates, I may not be the best roommate. My room is a total mess, I mean, there were originally clothes in baskets, then they moved to the chair, and now they are on the floor and every open surface available. There’s no room in the closet because it’s full of old clothes I need to get rid of. Same with my dresser drawers. 

This is the current state of my clothing. I know it’s outrageous, I’m not proud of it. I will show you an after pic when I’m done cleaning it.

So, in light of us cleaning out the attic and organizing the house, I’ve decided to act like an actual adult and clean my room. I live in my parents' home, and sometimes, when you live with your parents, you can turn into a 12-year-old for some odd reason. My mom sometimes treats me as if I’m an adolescent, even though I’ve started acting like her mother. 

I’m pushing fifty; it’s about time I got myself together. I just got a new car and I’ve been keeping it immaculately clean since I got it because again, I am an adult and this is a beautiful car. I have been known in the past to leave a bunch of crap in my car because I would eat like an entire meal in there. I'm trying to do a no-food rule in the car. Okay, I already broke the rule, but I cleaned up my mess. That’s all that matters, right?

This is my new ride! I’m very excited about it, it’s my first American car and my first SUV!

I’m a procrastinator and a perfectionist, so either my surroundings are spotless and pristine or they are a shit show, depending on my mood. The basement, which is my haven, is very clean, but I’ve shoved a bunch of crap into the bedroom I don’t use anymore. So there’s that.

This is my basement writing room, actually, my everything room. I know, I know, more pillows and vases!

I’ve read in many places that having chaotic surroundings can create chaos in your mind. I think that is true. One of the biggest reasons I’m trying to clean out my life is that it will help my mood. God knows I could use all the help. I’ve been in a good mood lately, even though I’ve had some major life changes like my father's passing away and looking for new jobs, and moving to a new home. The house we currently live in is too big and too much work for my mom and me to handle anymore. We need a change. 

I would also like to change as a person. I want to not only organize my clothing, I would like to organize all of my stuff. And organize my mind, my bestie made me make some lists of things to do, which is huge for me. Even though I’m a writer, I was never a fan of making lists, but now I can see the benefit of writing everything down and seeing it, and then weeping with anxiety.

I kid, it’s good for me to look at all I need to do. I don’t even have a Real ID. I can’t fly in the United States, not to mention abroad, since my passport has expired. I still have to do taxes because I got an extension, and how is it almost October already? Where did the year go, and where did my life go? 

Fifty years have passed by in the blink of an eye. I feel like someone is playing a practical joke on me, and really, I’ve only been around for like maybe twenty years. It can’t be fifty; there is no way that I’ve been breathing for this long. I feel like I’ve only recently learned how to breathe deeply and take it all in. 

Adulting is kind of a nightmare, and I don’t love it. But it’s literally the only way to get things done. Paying bills, cooking, and folding your clothes after you wash them are all things that need to be done, but they can be so tedious. But life is like fifty percent boring, and the rest is either a total nervous breakdown or a humorous joke. There’s joy in the humor, though, don’t forget that. 

I was just watching some deer outside my window and thought about how peaceful it is to see them eating from our plants. See, I told you I like wild animals, and watching them can be a real stress reliever. The biggest things that get me through adulting are music, reading, and writing. Truth be told, I think I can sing like a rock star, and the pure unadulterated bliss I get from singing takes away a lot of my boredom and anxiety.  

Writing is the most cathartic activity I do, though. It literally takes me to another place, another world where things are serene, beautiful, and fun. The only thing I can find wrong with writing is that it is a lonely pursuit; however, it is a way of communicating with the world as well, so it’s not a completely isolated affair. 

I feel like I’m talking to you right now, and I’ve mentioned in the past how much I love talking. It’s cool that no one talks back when I write, it’s all about nina. I mean, what could be better? It’s kind of like how I love therapy, can we talk about nina some more?  

But seriously, I’d like to clean up my act. Don’t look at me like that. It’s never too late to do anything, literally anything. It’s not even too late to act like a kid; my inner child needs nurturing, and sometimes it comes out with my friends when we fool around like we’re in our teens.

However, the harsh reality is that I’m an adult. I'm a real-life middle-aged fool. I will never stop being foolish, that’s part of my charm. But my real charisma lies in finding the humor and delight in the small moments of life, like watching the deer destroy my hostas. The deer are so pretty that I’m okay with them eating up my lovely plants. 

It’s the circle of life. I can always plant new flowers, but I will never relive this magnificent moment where I’m describing my life while watching out the window as life goes on. Life will go on whether or not I change, but I have decided to change for the better anyways. 

I don’t mean to be superficial and just hand you a happy ending. We have no idea how this new ‘change’ is going to work. I’ll keep you updated.

nina