Every App Is Holding Me Emotionally Hostage
Let’s start with the most damaging of all the apps…the dating apps. First of all, there are so many of them. And you can join most of them for free, so you can have your face and body out there for the entire universe to reject.
I pay for one app, which is where I find the most educated men. The problem is the men who like me, I don’t like, and the men I like don’t like me. There is one app in particular where I exclusively attract Indian men in their twenties.
I could literally be their mother. Is that the appeal? Because if so, I’m uncomfortable for all of us.
You know what else I’m mortified about? I could potentially join one of those ‘elderly’ apps for people 50 and up. Kill me now.
I can’t be that old, can I? The truth is, if a guy is older than, like, 53, I think he’s too old for me. I prefer men in their 40’s. I’m simply not emotionally prepared to date men who remind me to stretch before standing up.
Speaking of toxic relationships, Netflix annoys me beyond belief. I share my account with two friends of mine, and Netflix is now ‘cracking down’ on sharing the service. Every couple of weeks, I have to give my two friends a special code so they can stream for the next two weeks. You’d think I was stealing from the government.
In fact, I bought Netflix for my best friend on her birthday because it’s the gift that keeps on giving. The price keeps going up, and I haven’t even been watching anything on there lately. And if they ask me one more time, “Are you still watching?” I’m going to scream!
Mind your business, Netflix. Some of us are spiraling.
Yes, I have been watching uninterrupted for four hours. Who are you to judge, Netflix?
How many streaming services can you have anyways? I lost count of how many I have. I spend two hours scrolling through streaming services looking for something to watch, only to become too exhausted to watch anything.
There’s no way I’m the only person doing this.
And the problem with getting a subscription to an app is remembering when to cancel it. I was doing something really important for work, and I thought I was on ChatGPT, but I was on another website when I was duped into getting a subscription for one dollar because I needed help at that moment. I had searched for ChatGPT, but the ‘sponsored results’ on Google led me to some other service. I just cancelled my 20 dollar a month subscription after two months, I didn’t even use it.
I’m annoyed that I’m not more careful, and I can be electronically convinced to do anything. At this point, if a website uses a countdown timer and the word “premium,” I apparently lose all critical thinking skills. The internet has learned that if I’m stressed enough, I will purchase literally anything for $1.
OK, the one app I still have no issues with is the music app. It suggests music for me and makes the equivalent of mixed tapes for me. I don’t have a boyfriend, so these romantic mixed tapes from an app that millions of people use every day still gives me the feelies.
I still remain in shock and awe that you can literally find any song, from any country, any year, on these music apps. It feels like living inside a giant digital Harmony House where everything is somehow always on sale. It’s surprisingly not that expensive for what you get.
That is the one app I approve of.
I mean, the truth is, I can’t blame my banking and credit card apps for showing me how sad my financial situation is and how much money I owe. Honestly, it makes it harder to waste money now that you can see every single transaction you make, in one second, and you secretly wonder if the credit card companies are jumping for joy, or if they are suspicious they will never get their money back.
Another thing, why do I have eleven hundred apps on my phone? I’m sure it’s slowing it down, and why? Just why don’t I delete them?
I want an app that manages all my other apps because I clearly can’t be trusted to manage them myself. Like it tells me that I have not been using something I’m paying for, or tells me that it’s a really dumb idea to have this one random app on my phone.
I guess my love/hate relationship with all my apps is more indicative of my own state of mind than the progress of technology.
So yay for technology.
Now I need to go to my weather app to see if I can sit outside, instead of just going outside to see for myself.
What is happening to me?
nina
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Imagine two loud, dramatic, hilarious Indian women explaining to a white man what it's like to grow up and live in America. Join us for laughter, deep thoughts, and witty banter about life, love and culture. We tell it like it is, with honest, bold and funny stories, discussions and arguments. We explore boundaries and challenge norms. Join us for a good talk.
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