Cyber Footprints and Other Tragedies

I have 66,159 unread messages in my email account. How is that even possible?

I know, I know, I should not be allowed near technology. My question is, why isn’t Gmail asking me every year if they can just erase these unopened messages? I would totally agree. Why are they wasting their space on me? You see how this is not my fault?

I’m just taking up space in cyberspace, and I don’t even know what that means. I finally, one day a few years ago, unsubscribed to every ridiculous email list I was on. See, I don’t have a burner email account, but I’m thinking of expanding and getting one. I hear Yahoo still exists. I think it would be cute if I got an AOL account. Remember dialing up on AOL to get internet access? 

I check my paper mail from the mailbox about once a week, or at least twice a month. I mean, come on, what good can come in the mail? Every now and then, something important comes in the mail, and I put it in a pile. One day, I will open up that pile. If you send me an invite in the mail, just know that I will most likely open it three months later.  

I may be a hacker's dream come true. I used to use one password for everything, I mean everything. Now I’ve started using the suggested strong password that the computer and the phone offer you. The only problem with that is that if someone gets a hold of your computer or phone, they can find all your passwords.

I think I’ve been using the same PIN for my bank accounts for the past 30 years. I’m sure there is something inherently wrong with that. I just don’t have that many numbers in me. Or that many weird combinations of letters and numbers to create a password.  

I know people who memorize their credit card numbers. I’m just like, wow, I barely know my social security number, and I put it in my phone in case I forget. Remember when we were really good with numbers and actually remembered a lot of people’s phone numbers? I don’t know my best friend’s current phone number, but I remember the number she had on a landline in high school. I remember my own landline phone number when I was eight years old 

Numbers aren’t really my thing; you can probably guess that I was never good at math. I tried to get out of advanced math in high school, but I think my guidance counselor didn’t believe me when I told her it was too hard for me. Honestly, I think it’s because I am Indian. Aren’t all Indians good at math?

Indian people often have a privilege that not all immigrants have: most of the people who migrated here from India are well educated or come here to become well educated. Let’s face the reality that a great deal of Asian immigrants are doing very well in this country. But that doesn’t mean we don’t face racism. There are a lot of stereotypes about Asian folks that are just rude.

Indian people also have their expectations of their own people. A lot of older Indian people don’t understand why I became a writer. It’s not the norm for Indians. Science and math were not my forte, but writing and literature are. A lot of Indian people don’t understand why you would struggle financially to produce art. A lot of people, in general, don’t understand the burning desire to create despite all the obstacles it can bring in life.

This need to write is an intrinsic part of me that I can’t deny. It makes me who I am and gives me a purpose to live.  

But the truth is, in this day and age, I don’t know what I would do without my computer. I mean, I don’t use it to compute or anything, I basically just use it to write, but it makes my life a hell of a lot easier. I remember writing by hand and then typing it up when I was much younger. Although they say you use a different part of your brain when you write by hand. I think I threw that part of my brain out the window a long time ago.

I’m so old I learned to type on an actual typewriter.

The two things that have saved me in my life are writing and meditation. When I say saved me, I mean mostly saved me from depression. When I write, I enter into different worlds. When I meditate,e I leave this world and go deep inside the universe. When I’m not doing these two things, I have to deal with things like all the unread messages in my email account. Who needs that?

When I can dream…and be whoever I want to be…I am truly myself.

I know some people would go through all their unread emails and delete them, but honestly, it might take me the rest of my life, and why would I bother? Unread emails aren’t like unpaid parking tickets; there are really no consequences, and until Gmail arrests me, I will continue not to read half of my emails. Remember, I’m not anyone important, and this is how much mail I get. Imagine those who have some kind of fame.

I mean, who really wants to be famous? Knowing me, I’d get death threats for something I said. And speaking of emails, what is life afterall, is it just answering emails? I feel like for a lot of people, that is what they do the most at work.

Speaking of work, I’ve discovered another outlet for my creative energy. A couple of friends and I created a podcast about two Indian women explaining what our culture is like to a white man. We want it to be hilarious and deep, both at the same time. It’s called 2 Curries and a Ranch! You can listen to our new episode about Week-Long Valentine’s Day Madness, in which we discuss love and how Valentine’s Day lasts one crazy long week in India! Listen here: Apple:  https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1874627207