Why do I Wear Makeup?

In my previous post, I mentioned how I almost spent 42 dollars on a lipstick. The question has sort of come up as to why I wear makeup in the first place. Let me tell you a story. I was fourteen when I discovered that if I wore some makeup I could become much prettier. Boys and sometimes predatory older men started looking at me and noticing me, and other girls and women admired me. I felt seen for the first time in my life. I liked the boys looking at me, but didn’t know what to do about the predatory men, it confused and bewildered me. 

Of course, I was young and was wearing the wrong kind of makeup and probably put too much on and a year later my face completely broke out into acne. I have never felt so ugly as I did the year I had acne. But I learned a true lesson about myself during that time, I learned that I was more than my appearance. Much more. 

I started to write more during that time and I was praised by my teachers for my writing. I started to understand myself better, that I was a cool person no matter what I looked like. I got to know myself better. 

I’ve always been a girly girl, I’ve always been into fashion and makeup. When I was a kid and I had dance recitals my mom would let me wear lipstick and I got so excited about it. I remember one time when I was a little girl wishing at a wishing fountain that I could get lipstick from my mom.  When I was a teen I thought I needed to wear makeup in order to look presentable. 

In my twenties, I lost that notion and would walk around New York City au natural all the time. I thought I was beautiful just as I was. And since my thirties, I think of makeup as an art. I think the colors are beautiful and I love that I can transform my face into a work of art. Sure I like the fact that I feel more attractive and beautiful, but I don’t feel like I can’t walk around town without makeup on. 

There was a time in my teens and early twenties when I wouldn’t leave the house without foundation on. Now I don’t care if I go out au natural. 

Yes, it’s true that I feel more sexually attractive when I wear makeup, but more than that I feel like my face is like a painting and I get to play around with it and make it beautiful. But the difference is that now I still feel beautiful without makeup on. I truly do. 

I am also aware that the cosmetics industry wants me to believe I need makeup in order to look presentable. I am aware that this is a capitalistic scam to make me feel flawed so I will spend money on products. Having said that, I’ve learned to spend less money on the goods, I used to have a makeup addiction, and now I buy reasonably priced items and only the stuff I think I really want. 

I know I don’t need any of it, I just enjoy it. It’s my way of being artistic. Fashion and makeup. Everyone has their thing. What’s your thing? Tell me in the comments, I’m actually interested. 

nina