Let’s do something different. Let’s not talk about anything important.
Let’s sit by the dock of the bay.
I wish I lived near water. I drive half an hour from my house sometimes just to see this pretty lake. I’ve been doing it since I was 17 years old. My dad used to ask me why I asked him for so much money for gas; he thought someone was stealing gas from my car.
I didn’t tell him I took these drives all by myself, literally doing nothing but listening to music. Back in the day, I drove a pimped-out car my mom had. It was a 1984 Cadillac Eldorado, light brown in color with leather seats. It was a drug dealer's car. It was bigger than a boat.
I could fit like 15 people in there. People would ask me for a ride home from school, and I would say yes to everyone. My sister had me drop her off before the door to her school because she was so embarrassed about the car. I was just thrilled to have a car.
Then I moved to Ann Arbor for college. If you have never been to Ann Arbor, Michigan, you are missing out. It is one of the best cities in the world. It’s a college town. I feel like most college towns are great. I came from a stupid suburb; Ann Arbor was like a Mecca for me. I loved it so much. I would sit in coffee shops and read and write, and people I knew were just around.
That was the life. You could walk everywhere; you didn’t have to drive. You just met people in the streets that you knew. How cool is that?
That doesn’t happen in Troy, Michigan; I’ll tell you that much. Although I have seen people I know at the drug store and grocery store, it’s just not the same. I once saw a guy who worked at CVS who was my first crush in high school. I was in my twenties, and I don’t know if he knew I had this huge crush on him when I was 15. I think I was nervous to talk to him at the cash register. My mom told me I was rude to him.
After college, I moved to Washington, D.C., and worked as a temp. It was very glamorous. I was finally promised a job at USA Today and was very excited about it. Well, when I finally got this secretary job at this newspaper, I may or may not have been searching for explicit things on the internet because I was so bored, and it was my only access to a computer. This was when the internet was first invented; I didn’t know people could see what you were searching for. I didn’t know anything. I got fired.
I had this delusion that I would work my way up from a secretary to a writer at USA Today. I was so young and naive. That was the first time I really left the suburbs for a big city. Ann Arbor is not a big city; D.C. is. I didn’t have any street smarts. I would just talk to random men on the street because they were interesting. I have no idea how I wasn’t caught in some very dangerous situations.
Then I moved home and realized I needed to do something with my life, but I still didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. So I decided to go to graduate school. I decided to get a writing degree. Before that, my father had tried to make me go to law school. I lied to him and told him I took the LSAT. This man was fully blind at the time; he managed to call the LSAT people and find out I never showed up for the test. Don’t underestimate people. Especially intelligent people.
I then moved to New York City. I don’t care what anyone has to say about it. I don’t want your opinion; I already know what it is. “I love visiting New York, but I could never live there.” That’s because you haven’t lived there. Most of you. It’s like Disneyland for adults. There are so many things to do, people to meet, places to go. It’s like a never-ending movie.
Of course, I was still a little innocent when I moved there. I got lost in Harlem a couple of times because I took the wrong subway. But I’m still alive to talk about it.
Photo courtesy of Samantha Hemery via Scopio
I’ll stop there; the rest of my life will come later. Maybe I’ll talk about it later.
I still go to that lake. It’s not bright lights, big city here, but I guess I’m kind of happy with where I am. Which is weird, because being content for real seems like it should require things like big cities and fun parties. But it doesn’t.
I sit by the dock of the bay, sometimes with a friend. Sometimes alone.
Happiness is random and makes no sense.
nina
BECOME A FRIEND OF NINALAND
If my writing has ever made you laugh, think, or feel a little less alone, consider becoming a Friend of Ninaland. Friends receive exclusive content, including bonus essays, audio versions of posts, behind-the-scenes notes, and the occasional piece that never makes it onto the blog. Your support helps keep Ninaland going.
Join here: Friends of Ninaland
$1.99 Every month
✓ Exclusive Content
✓ Bonus Essays
✓ Audio Versions of Posts
✓ Behind-the-Scenes Notes
Log In: https://www.ninakaur.com/friends-of-ninaland#page
Do you need help learning how to read, write, or speak English?
I am an experienced tutor who can give you real conversational and written expertise in English Language Learning.
I can also help with Foreign Accent Reduction.
I work virtually in any time zone in any country.
To explore tutoring with me, please submit the form below:
A couple of friends and I started a podcast called 2 Curries and a Ranch. Listen here: https://2curriesandaranch.riverside.com/ or wherever you get your podcasts.
Imagine two loud, dramatic, hilarious Indian women explaining to a white man what it's like to grow up and live in America. Join us for laughter, deep thoughts, and witty banter about life, love, and culture. We tell it like it is, with honest, bold, and funny stories, discussions, and arguments. We explore boundaries and challenge norms. Join us for a good talk.
We have a new episode out: Is AI Going to End the World or Just Our Podcast?
We explore random thoughts about the pros and cons of AI and our relationship to it.