Your Real Enemy

You and I are living with a bully. It's in our head. It is our mind. There is no one more critical of us. No one meaner. You would think this thing we carry around in our brain would be our friend. The truth of the matter is, the mind does not always act like a good friend. In fact it can be our enemy.

Why and how did our minds get this way? Evolution of course. Our minds are negative in nature to warn us of danger. When humans were hunting and gathering and living in the woods, they had to have a warning system built into their head about any danger that could come about. 

Now that most of us are safe in our homes, our mind has actually become the real danger. Worry and anxiety are all about focusing on what is negative that could happen in the future and what happened in the past. It is usually never about what is happening right now. 

Our minds are focused on horrible things in order to make us think about solutions to our problems. But this whole system has backfired on us. The real way to solve our issues is to be positive about them. To think the best about the future and not dwell in the past. 

I would not say many of the things that I say to myself to a friend. Sometimes I tell myself that I am a failure. But if one of my friends tried to tell me they were a failure, I would go on about how much success they really have in their lives. I don't think anyone else I know is a failure, but why do I think I am?

Probably because my mind is trying to fool me into succeeding by pointing out my flaws. It is, in fact, a flawed mechanism. The real way to inspire me to succeed more is to focus on my strengths and accomplishments. My mind, however, wants to take me on a rollercoaster ride with my emotions by pointing out what I lack. 

Another thing about our mind is that it is very frivolous. It goes from one thing to the next, without any real trajectory. There is often no point to what I am thinking. Like I will start by thinking that I forgot to buy socks at Walmart and then I will go into thinking about how I need to call the car insurance guy. Then without warning, I will be thinking about how I want to eat cake right now. 

My mind is like this dude in my head having a life of its own. When I separate myself from my mind and watch my thoughts, I often want to laugh at how boring and tedious my thoughts are. It's not like I'm thinking about anything important most of the time. I'm not really solving my problems or the world's problems. Mostly I'm just creating more problems for myself. 

So what do we do about all this annoying chatter? Many times I want my mind to shut the hell up. Like right at this moment, I'm noticing the beauty of the morning sky and the frosted dew on the grass. My mind wants to wander and instead think about the forty-two things I have to do today. I will do them or not, whether or not I worry about them. But noticing the pink hues in the sky at this very second is so rare and beautiful. I want to enjoy it and not let my chatty mind ruin it.

So how do we escape from the platitudes of our wild mind? We have to realize that we are in actual control of our minds. The mind should be our slave, not the opposite. Right now it seems we are a slave to all its meanderings and mundane thoughts. But the real truth is we can focus on whatever we feel like. We have the option to stop all the bullshit in our heads.

When we realize we own this thing called our mind, we can use it for what it was truly meant for, to make us happy. Sometimes people use affirmations or good sayings that they say to themselves over and over. It might seem that repetition is boring and unnecessary. Untrue. Repetition is necessary to remind us of what we really are. We will always forget. 

I remember reading a book about a guy who used to repeat something like 'I am Love' over and over again. Eventually, he said he felt such a breathtaking love of all of life. In meditation, we often repeat the same word or mantra again and again. It is sometimes the name of god. The reason we do this is to remind ourselves who we really are. We are god. We are love. We are beauty. We have to repeat that over and over again to wipe out the crap that our mind is thinking. 

I often sit for half an hour in meditation in order to remember who and what I really am. Also to shut off my stupid, idiotic mind. There is nothing wrong with having memories and thinking about the future. But the point is how we spin the story. We can focus on every horrible thing that ever happened to us and let our minds tell us we have had a bad life. Or we can remember the great things that make us feel good. We can think about all of the things that will be worse in the future or all of the things that will be better. 

It is our choice. 

We are in control of this one. 

We are not in control of all things that are happening in our lives. But the one thing we can control is our mind's reaction to those things. We don't have to let our mind guide us in the wrong direction. We can instead guide it towards the light. 

Sometimes we think we are our minds. But actually, we are our mind, body. and soul. We, the self, is all three of these combined. The self, whatever it is, owns the body, mind, and soul. That's my theory anyways.

Our minds were supposed to be our tool, our friend. Now they have become our worst enemy. But we can change that. And it doesn't take years of therapy and antidepressants. Just notice what you are thinking. Stop thinking bad thoughts.  

I'm aware that it is a lot easier said than done. I am human too, after all. I struggle with this everyday. I just want to think about the loveliness of the snow on the rooftops I can see outside the window. I want peace in this moment.

Whatever was, was. Whatever will be, will be.

nina